college counseling (i)

OMGz! You guys, I’m so stressed for college! On the real, I open up the Sarah Lawrence supplemental information page every night and just stare at it, afraid that if I touch it I’ll accidentally submit it and they’ll reject me. I’ve wanted in on that beautiful New York campus since middle school, and I’m pretty much determined to get that oversized envelope, even if I have to slit a few prospective SLC throats. I’m all giddy inside just thinking about it! Not the throat slitting, the dorm sheet shopping. But threats usually work with me…
It’s all happening so fast- too fast! College is supposed to be so diesel, but I’ve been stressin’ over these applications for some time. And yeah, maybe if I just sat down and did it one day I could get it all finished, but homegirl’s got Saturday rehearsals and on Sunday I give blind orphans tetanus shots. Well, I totally plan to in the near future.
I could always enter the convent or get a job answering phones for my Dad, because it’s not like I’m going for the Greek life (because I’d only join a fraternity, but for lack of testosterone and experience with the illustrious keg stand, I can’t), but I’m so excited to write term papers and stay up late being pseudo intellectual and drinking coffee and energy drinks (tooth decay, yum!). Is that lame?
I wish I had taken the SAT’s more than once my junior year (hint, hint, little sister), and that I had been more involved in sports (my resume makes me look fat). But I know that somewhere out there, there’s an admissions officer dying to read my glorious essays, because they’re looking for a kid as ridiculous as me.
So, I guess what I’m trying to say here is, keep on keepin’ on, seniors, it’s gonna be worth it in the end because we get to move away from home and sleep in a twin sized bed next to a stranger and Lysol our shower shoes weekly while simultaneously living the American dream. Sigh… I can’t wait.