Tuck and Roll, A Matter of Life & Death? Hell Yes.

The administration is trying to save your liberty whilst keep you lookin’ jazzy and you don’t even care. Yeah, you heard me, we are on the eve of freakin’ anarchy and there’s only one thing that can truly save us- the real golden rule: tucking in your shirt. Contemptible as it may seem to you, this isn’t about bringing back the grunge look of the early 90’s (though that was bitchin’)- this is about civil rights, people.
Becky Thatcher would be rolling in her grave if she saw the amount of 60% cotton, 40% polyester flaps I see glaring at me around campus. What do you think this is? The hypocrisy of it all! Becky has sweatshops full of ethnic children slaving night and day to sew together tuckable amounts of fabric so you can look totally boss… and you’re throwing it away to look like a scrub. Hey! Mama didn’t raise no fool. (lol)
On a lighter note (but not really), everyone looks fat in their uniform. But black men have been know to prefer “thick” women, so next time you hook yourself up with a tight new pair of khakis, shake your groove thang and remember to holla atcha boy.
No uniform violation is quite as school reputation altering as the untucked shirt. Sure, you forgot your belt, so you slid your tootsies into some Birkenstocks (you lesbian), or maybe you even let your sideburns grow into lamb chops that need more than a shear; but do you realize that every single person you pass on the public streets of the tri state area judges and condemns Cardinal Gibbons because you look like a damn idiot. Not even your monogrammed pocket can save you now…
So let’s avoid total revolution, let’s make Mama Thatcher and Pauly O. proud, and let’s allow Tyrone to get all up in our crevices. By tuckin’ our stuff we can keep America a democracy and get a sweet new booty call (cuz we phat ya’ll…what!?!) Keep it real, Chieftains, look down and make sure its all the way around.